The Conversation: Lindsay Lohan

Ring… Ring… Me: What the @!&*… what the hell time is it… Ring… Ring… Me: 3:30 in the freaking morning.. who is calling at… Husband: Caller ID says it’s Lohan. Whaddya want me to do? Me: Arrrghhhh…. I’ll take it in the office. Husband: OK, but tell her that real people need real sleep and… […]

Read More The Conversation: Lindsay Lohan

The Conversation: Barack Obama

Beep… Me: Wait, someone’s calling on the other line. Let me check who it… cool. It’s Barack. Can you just e-mail me that cashew chili recipe? I gotta take this. OK? Thanks. Beep… Me: Hello? Obama: Hi, Jennifer, How are ya? Jennifer: Honestly? I’m just about fed up with some stuff, and I need to […]

Read More The Conversation: Barack Obama

The Conversation: Tyra Banks

  Ring…. ring… ring… ring… ring (stop) Ring… ring… ring… ring… ring (stop) Ring… ring… ring… ring… ring (stop) Husband to me: For the love of God, answer the phone. She will call until you do. Me to husband: Fine. Ring… ring… Me: Hello? Tyra: HEY GIRL!!! I have been tryin’ to call you! Were […]

Read More The Conversation: Tyra Banks

The Conversation: Britney Spears

  (I’m Not That Innocent… ringtone) Me: Hello? Britney Spears: Hey, girl! Wassup? Where you at? Me: Britney? BS: Duh… wait. Hold on. (inaudible scuffle followed by) That’s right you fat cow, you better run! Or I swear to god… Me: Britney! BS: Oh hey Jen! You need somethin’? What’s up? Me: You called me? […]

Read More The Conversation: Britney Spears

The Conversation: JK Rowling

  (Ringring… ringring…ringring) JK Rowling: Hello? Me: Hey JK– its JH JK: Why hello, Jennifer! How’ve you been? Me: Actually, I’ve had a bad throat infection the last few days and I’ve been coughing up the grossest stuff. JK: Sounds awful. Me: Yep… sorry my voice is so hoarse. It’s sexy, though, don’t you think? […]

Read More The Conversation: JK Rowling

The Conversation: Dick Cheney

  Dick Cheney:  Hello? Me: Dick? DC: Yes, this is Dick. Me: Hey Dick. It’s Jennifer. DC: Oh! Hello Jennifer. How’s the weather in Austin? Me: It’s cold and rainy. DC: That’s too bad. Me: No actually it’s good. It feels more like the holidays now. A few days ago it was pushing 90. Not […]

Read More The Conversation: Dick Cheney